Wise Choice

I wish my thoughts were pretty and wore a little dress,

They would dance around for everyone,  

I would never be depressed.

 

Do you still buy more stuff to fill the hole inside.

Nothing seems to fill it

People places and things leave it empty,

Is there an answer.

 

Not where you’re looking

There is nothing in the dark

The ground never gives up its dead.

 

Where do you look when no one likes what they see,

The crowd never welcomed the Frankenstein monster.

Turn to the new day,

But hold a little back,

No one wants the full picture.

 

Then what’s the point,

I’d rather be hated for what I am

Than loved for what I am not.

Then that’s what you’ll become;

We all create our own destinies,

Even if it’s to paint ourselves into a corner.

 

That’s the choice then,

Cut out pieces of your soul because no one whats the whole package;

When do you stop cutting once you begin,

What do you have left once you’re finished.

 

It can’t be worse than what you already have,

No one drinks from an empty cup.

It can always be worse;

I’ve found fate is easily tempted

When she comes to take her share

Your left with the sticks and stones.

Then find a way to use them,

Make the disadvantage your advantage.

 

I can find no advantage in this endless turmoil,

It’s a round hole and I have are square pegs.

You don’t have to be the jagged pill,

You’ve chosen that path,

Each step you’ve chosen beforehand.

 

At each step,

My choice was removed from me,

What choice exists between

Self-destruction and annihilation,

There is nothing left when its over.

 

It doesn’t matter how you’ve gotten here,

Now you need to find your way out.

What do you think all of this is,

I don’t think there is a way out.

You found a way in if you can’t find a door

Make one.

Your no help…  

Swing Again

Beginning are always completed, 

Sticky, 

Drawn-out, 

They meander slowly through the mind 

Getting hung up on every bump 

Caught even in the smallest pothole. 

 

They never stay where you want them, 

They bounce around like a cake fed 6 year old at a birthday party, 

Rarely do they go where intended 

Either burning out to quickly 

Or never getting started. 

 

Ending are not, 

They are sudden, 

Come at you head on, 

Rarely cloaked in darkness 

They stand out for the world to see. 

 

No mixed messaging 

Just the impact and its jolt, 

No loss for words, 

No should have 

Could have, 

Its to late for all that. 

 

I met a junkie looser the other day, 

4 kids and happy to get high with them once their old enough,

Do you even hear yourself speaking, 

Can you look yourself in the mirror; 

Are you just creating more pimples on the asshole of society.

 

She talked and her mouth was filled with excuses 

Not solutions, 

Reasons why not, 

Void of reasons why can. 

 

Better a working looser 

At least you have a chance to make something of yourself. 

She also stole my fucking pen… 

 

Sometimes you can spend years waiting for the rain to come 

In the end it never does, 

No spring morning waiting, 

Water drops fat hanging off the new growth, 

Till the hard barren ground, 

Each strike with the hoe breaks up the earth, 

Swing and swing again, 

Swing until your arms grow tired 

Then swing again, 

Let the arms blister and break 

Swing again, 

Swing and swing until you fall, 

Feeding the ground. 

 

Defeat only comes for the defeated. 

Quiet

I only make the same mistake once; 

It won’t happen again. 

I’ll put a cork in it, 

Not a shred will escape, 

A lock with no key, 

A box with no lid. 

 

I’ll sew my lips shut; 

I’ll break my fingers instead,

Cut out the tongue,

Box my ears and gouge out my eyes,

Make myself Blind, Deaf, and Dumb.

 

I’ll shroud myself in darkness, 

Be the mystery wrapped in the enigma 

Let nothing slip through. 

 

I’ll bleed out 

It into this quiet,

Wrenched honest hole, 

Frank in its dealings, 

Never have to worry about second thoughts, 

A place that accepts it all. 

 

Hang out all the dirty clothes, 

Let the line bend low under the weight 

Until it starts brushing against the fresh cut grass. 

 

Thick and wet 

Let them drip dry, 

It needs no attention 

Just hangum and forgetem. 

 

Wash your hands like Pilate 

Then turn and walk away, 

Let the crowd have him. 

 

Like water in a sealed environment, 

It just changes form, 

Every drop is accounted for 

Regardless of conditions. 

 

Something in my personality 

I always’ need to crash 

To learn not too, 

Must touch the stove 

To learn it’s hot. 

 

Take comfort, 

Our paths will not cross, 

I’ll never darken your door. 

I’ll not have to eat crow each afternoon, 

Only during my 2:00am daydreams. 

 

I’ll give up watching the flies crawl across the window. 

I’ll trust in Franklin, 

I’ll shut my mouth and quit proving myself the idiot. 

 

Run Rabbit

I wanted to burn the boats 

Trap us in the new world, 

The boats never burned, 

I watched you sail away from me. 

I’m the low dose medication 

With too much on an empty stomach 

It will leave you drowsy and nauseous. 

I see two options; 

Either I think along the same lines as everyone else 

I am just more honest about it, 

Which would mean I’m surrounded by people who lie to my face, 

Or I don’t, 

Neither is comforting. 

Do you also look at the world from an angle, 

Not head on, 

Where others are happy 

Never questioning more than the time of day or the makings of their next meal. 

I wish I was like other men 

Fell for someone with my hips or lips 

Not my mind, 

It looks so much easier when you use a shorter yard stick.

  

Dance in line 

Play the part, 

I thought you were wearing a mask too, 

I pulled mine off and scared you away. 

Back to the drawing board 

Reassess the what, why, and how 

Find the answers that aren’t for you, 

Look at the sun and don’t go blind.

At times I swear I could see it in the corner of your eyes as well 

That I wasn’t alone, 

That you felt it too, 

There was something there; 

These rose-colored glasses have left my vision wanting. 

I wish it had been you, 

I am jealous at life for taking you to another destination.

I have years of it bottled up 

Sitting on the shelf waiting for someone to uncork it for.

I would have spun the world backwards 

Had the ground give up its dead, 

But too much birthday cake makes anyone sick. 

This fire and passion burns straight into my core, 

I choke it down once again 

It wasn’t meant for you. 

You might need it in pieces, 

Cut up and wrapped 

All neat in a butcher’s bag; 

That’s not me, 

I’m the supernova, 

The star that won’t die but it becomes the black hole 

Where the timid stop at the event horizon. 

Fall in, 

Pass through, 

Find me waiting to catch you on the other side. 

Had you told me your dreams, 

I would have plucked them from the vapor, 

Forced them into existence, 

Have them parade before you, 

Bowing at your feet.

I burned the last words you wrote to me, 

Keep the delusion alive for a moment longer, 

Take one final breath before the clouds part and the image moves on. 

What’s gone cannot be recaptured. 

When I looked into your eyes, 

I could almost touch the future; 

Pale blue eyes swirling into long talks 

Learning each other’s secrets, 

With each step laying the bricks that would build something other than walls.

I’m looking forward to the day my heart decides to chase some other unsuspecting victim down a rabbit hole.

Bring It!

Friend or foe…, 

 

What comes next another beating, 

Are you in the shadows ready with your club, 

Let my guard down then I will feel its swift strike. 

 

A friend wouldn’t hide, 

But I would. 

 

Your mistaken if you think I turn my back, 

I am always ready for the axe to fall or the other shoe to drop. 

If you come you better be ready and have both barrels, 

I will eat your muzzle flash, 

You can’t kill the dead. 

 

Tomorrow is just another day,  

Another resurrection, 

Lost in the mirror living out my daily deception. 

 

There aren’t coals hot enough to cook blackened flesh; 

Your threat better have teeth that can break the skin. 

 

I don’t bluff, 

I don’t deceive; 

I will cut you down and step across your corpse without a second glance, 

True mercilessness to greet your stale bluff. 

 

I feed off your garbage, 

I use its pieces to build towers of iron. 

 

My own Maginot line, 

A place to grow my icicles undisturbed. 

 

If you’ve come to lick my bones 

You’ll find all the marrow has already been drained 

Replaced with cold iron for you to crash and break upon. 

 

There is no down you can beat me too

That is not already a trusted friend. 

 

I don’t bend, I can’t break,

I will get back up,

Again and again and again,

You best be gone when I do…

5

 She has to turn towards you and never pull away or hold back