the endless

Its learning to live with the bodies, 

Teach yourself how to speak 

To those who don’t want to listen. 

I miss all the signs and take the wrong path instead 

Spending the day talking to myself 

About things that have no answer. 

Do you follow fate, 

Or your own polluted preconceptions? 

Cut the fetters and turn away, 

Leave the shadow animals to dance for the weak. 

Ending are just darker beginnings that twist back on themselves 

Devouring what you were 

With the remains of what was left. 

Like Tetsuo embrace what you become, 

Let it consume you until nothing remains, 

Let it beat you down until you drop to your knees, 

Let it drive you into the ground until seppuku is the only logical choice. 

Open yourself to oblivion 

Because you wont find an end 

When you living in the endless. 

Cannibal

 At the end of forever,

Peering through the window,

Peaking again and again,

 it makes no difference,

 outside with the other beggars.

 

Another day on the belly,

Crawl through the glass,

‘make this time the last’

Are the words you cling to. 

 

Let the club lie where it fell,

Leave the horse alone,

Let it lie in peace;

Walk away knowing it was always a dead end,

No northwest passage,

Just another wide river leading to nowhere.

 

I pick every wound until it bleeds;

I gouge out my eyes,

But i still manage to find your footprints to take tea with.

 

I flew on your wings because i never learned to fly on my own.

 

I had forgotten how lonely life was,

Once you move past the sadness

Your left with the silence that never seems to leave;

It spreads out and deafens the world,

Easily mistaken as lost in thought

But the mind is vacant.

 

You keep waiting for your time to come

But that hour has already been spent

On gumdrops and ballons,

You were lost in the mirror confusing your reflection

For the real world.

 

Maybe if it could be cut into smaller bits

It would be more digestible,

I should have dropped breadcrumbs

But maybe i did, and they were eaten by the crows.

 

I’d take the candy house if offered,

But in the end what are you going to learn from cannibals

That you don’t already know.

 

 

 

“What a piece of work is a man!

How noble in reason!

How infinite in faculty!

In form and moving how express and admirable!

In action how like an angel!

In apprehension how like a god!

The beauty of the world!

The paragon of animals!

And yet, to me,

What is this quintessence of dust?

Man delights, not me.”

~Hamlet

i miss you

i miss you,

I remember the first Christmas; you followed me into the forest, snow filling your fashionista city boots. Never satisfied, all I could see was its glaring imperfections, not you, it was perfect in your eyes, even before I turned its bad side toward the wall. Next day I had Ms. Stewart teach me to light the tree backwards while you dropped on ornaments like a citizen of Whoville. On that rented ladder I hung string after string of dollar store lights, you brought me coffee and begged me to come down after I startled you from tapping on the second story window; long before they became a bone of contention, then the ongoing joke. You became Mother Christmas and bought presents for everyone and all I had to do was focus on you. I spent all night putting stickers on pony land and snapping together a thousand Legos into a vehicle worthy of General Grievous; you wrapped and wrapped twirling beautiful ribbons and pretty bows until we had a small mountain of gifts. Quietly ushed under the tree, well after watching Jimmy Stewart sing to his buffalo girl and the Twas the Night was read. You never caught me while I built a vanity for you. Sleep caught us and we found a couple of hours before Santa came and we were woken anew. You spent the day next to my mother cooking pies, pudding, cookies, squash, potatoes, asparagus with hollandaise sauce, the roast you coked; none had fractured away, everyone alive and vibrant guest rooms and pullout couches filled. Even when I dropped the roast while it made its trip to the serving tray was laughed off with a quick dose of water. We filled our bellies with food and out head with conservation, until none were left awake.  

 

That’s the last time I remember snow, so many now are filled with mud instead; the ground is white with snow now, but I think they said it’s supposed to rain tomorrow.

Belly Crawl

Let the sling and arrows of outrageous fortune continue 

I will not sleep; 

I will not be subjected to another dream. 

I will break Yorick back 

Remove the child’s heart, 

Let the skull fall, 

Let it find its place in the dusty ground. 

I watch my breath ice over where we once sat, 

The bed has lost its warmth. 

No more slow dancing in the kitchen, 

The players have all gone silent, 

Their instruments finally lost their tune. 

Don’t let the amber take you, 

Don’t be another bug caught in its golden clutches. 

Escape the paper bag prison, 

Climb its walls until you find the crack, 

Leave what’s left with Tootles marbles, 

It’s the square that’s off, 

The round peg learns to fit. 

With too many edges 

You cut those around you, 

A scissor hands 

Straight from the fractured screen. 

Dull the knives 

Blunt the tongue, 

Leave tiny Tim to walk alone. 

Whatever doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.

Red Dragon

Finally beat the drums loud enough,

You had to learn,

You walk without rhythm,

It won’t attract the wyrm. 

 

It’s the Chinese finger game in reverse,

A trap that wasn’t designed for you,

It has my name all over it.

 

Each word turns its blade back on me,

They come out soft but turn hard when they hang in the air

Or am I just hammer forever looking for a nail

Pursuing that endless chase

Looking for more outcomes than blunt force can produce.

 

I could see she wanted me to talk to her,

Where would that end that I hadn’t already been,

Just another brick waiting for the wall.

 

Enjoy the phantasy,

Let the trumpets fanfare your entrance,

Because the King wears no clothes.

 

Empty steps down a road to nowhere

Where they nod their heads but don’t hear your words.

Your words lack meaning

Unless someone wants to hear what you have to say,

You can’t add water to the cup that’s already full.

 

To many midday baths makes a man weak,

Need to fling off the weakness,

Back life into the corner,

Let it howl and regurgitate itself

Again and again until you find the end,

Then chop off the head,

Stop the phoenix,

Let it be consumed in its own fire.

 

Leave the weak to be reborn again,

Let them draw a new face on the old body,

Leave them to walk about like sock puppets,

Step forward and embrace the rain,

Look with face forward into the howling wind,

Know with each step you both move away and toward,

Shun the ‘undiscovered country’,

Future has no form

It is everything and nothing.

 

Is it fear that stops me;

Your pretty smiles aren’t for me,

They’re for a shade of what once was with a dash of never wanted.

 

I look through you,

I focus on the path on the other side,

I flip back open the compass,

I let it guide me once more,

I follow true North,

No more distractions.