Gassed Up

Thoughts of you fill my head

From the moment I wake

Until it eventually finds the pillow.

 

You once said I gassed you up,

You fill my sky with light.

 

I was once told I come across as to intense

I was also told I was too desperate.

 

Perhaps that’s what frightened you away.

 

Your words are sunshine on a wilted garden,

Water in the midst of the desert,

A kind hand in a cruel world.

 

I mistook your kindness for interest.

 

I lose myself in the dream

Watch reality pass me by.

 

I’d spend the rest of my days chasing that fire in your eyes;

Drown myself in its warmth.

 

Teach myself to be a seamstress

Spin that heat into a life

Built on the unbreakable foundation

The corner stone of the undying.

 

Maybe I’m weird,

I know compared to everyone I have met

They don’t hold the same view,

I won’t be waking up next to someone

I wouldn’t want to spend the day with.

 

I’ve done that before and did not like it.

 

It feels like it should be more than just a handshake.

 

I know with every fiber of my being

Your someone I would want to spend my days with.

 

Maybe age has made me blind

To many books an idiot

But, I would see you in the darkest night

Know your direction from the depth of any ocean.

 

I hate that the baggage of my life acts like a wall between us,

I hunt every day for a crack or an opening where I could slip out or you could slip in.

 

In the end I always say to much

Or not enough.