The Monster

De lacey, 

Take back your eyes, 

You miss too much. 

The monster runs loose, 

You could have stopped him had you only seen. 

 

You cry wolf again and still no one comes, 

Yet the fire still burns. 

 

Peter isn’t here to fend off this one with his pop gun. 

 

The smell of fresh cut lilacs get replaced 

With that of morning napalm 

Lacking only the war to surround it. 

 

The minds jagged teeth never bite straight. 

 

Did you hit another false bottom 

Or has the free-fall finally stooped your heart? 

 

The breadcrumbs were long ago eaten by crows, 

So i spend most days walking in circles 

Looking for jacob’s ladder; 

Instead i follow in dante’s footsteps, 

Down is always easier than up. 

 

Pick up the blade of tomorrow 

Sever the edge between before and after, 

Escape the abiding place, 

Open the cage and let the doves fly free. 

 

The best things in life can’t be taken, 

Only given. 

 

Where do you go once the albatross drops off 

But the doors remain closed; 

You're not locked out, 

Instead you’re locked in. 

Am i drinking from an empty well 

Or was the water always for someone else cup. 

 

The end came before the beginning, 

The crash before the sunday drive; 

You never woo the wall 

It just keeps listening 

Waiting for you to lose your voice. 

 

How many more days 

Running from ghosts 

And chasing phantoms, 

How many more nights 

Of looking into the abyss, 

For questions there are no answers to. 

 

No rest until you accept 

You never stood beneath william tells apple, 

The arrow missed its mark, 

The bell never rang, 

No doc brown to fix the clock tower 

Its arms are broken now. 

 

I don’t like chasing unicorns; 

Hermes can have his shoes back 

They no longer fit. 

 

The dream strangles me now, 

Leaves me lifeless on the floor 

Waiting for the next chapter to begin. 

 

I need someone 

Who doesn’t want to live off narcan, 

Who wants to put all the eggs in one basket, 

To have the cake and eat it to. 

 

What i want 

Only comes from the big bets 

Because if you only risk 

What you’re willing to loose 

Then you never win 

More than you were willing to risk.

Gassed Up

Thoughts of you fill my head

From the moment I wake

Until it eventually finds the pillow.

 

You once said I gassed you up,

You fill my sky with light.

 

I was once told I come across as to intense

I was also told I was too desperate.

 

Perhaps that’s what frightened you away.

 

Your words are sunshine on a wilted garden,

Water in the midst of the desert,

A kind hand in a cruel world.

 

I mistook your kindness for interest.

 

I lose myself in the dream

Watch reality pass me by.

 

I’d spend the rest of my days chasing that fire in your eyes;

Drown myself in its warmth.

 

Teach myself to be a seamstress

Spin that heat into a life

Built on the unbreakable foundation

The corner stone of the undying.

 

Maybe I’m weird,

I know compared to everyone I have met

They don’t hold the same view,

I won’t be waking up next to someone

I wouldn’t want to spend the day with.

 

I’ve done that before and did not like it.

 

It feels like it should be more than just a handshake.

 

I know with every fiber of my being

Your someone I would want to spend my days with.

 

Maybe age has made me blind

To many books an idiot

But, I would see you in the darkest night

Know your direction from the depth of any ocean.

 

I hate that the baggage of my life acts like a wall between us,

I hunt every day for a crack or an opening where I could slip out or you could slip in.

 

In the end I always say to much

Or not enough.

ShitShow/Another log in the toilet of HOPE and FEAR

The spinning wheel moves beneath the eyes, 

Rolling again, 

Pat Sajak left for the evening, 

I’m not smart enough to put it together 

Without Vanna to spin the letters for me. 

 

Fade into the audience, 

Clap along with the barking seals 

As you watch the show from the outside. 

 

Once the biting begins its all you feel 

Even when its stopped. 

 

The phantom limb never leaves completely; 

It catches you off guard, 

Like the popup restaurant 

Invading your street serving the finest in insect cuisine. 

 

A puzzle wrapped in the enigma or just a door that doesn’t want to be opened… 

 

Yesterday blends into tomorrow, 

Passing over today 

Leaving only the bitter taste of regret. 

 

The uneaten stands in the way of any hope of dessert. 

 

I need a new wall to beat my head against. 

 

Spin relentlessly like a leaf on the wind; 

When life tries to drown you it rewards you 

With only trying harder its next time around. 

 

It saves the shit shake for you next walk past. 

 

Do load stones grow tired, 

Long to be cut free 

Float down into the murky depths. 

 

I’ve never gotten it right, 

I choose the wrong door each time 

Can’t find my way home until I’m shown. 

 

So many turns as the frog 

That you slowly become the scorpion 

Waiting at the river for a ride. 

 

Your tricks fall flat, 

I see the strings 

I’ve read the playbill 

I know what comes next. 

 

Surrender to the churn, 

Break me down and spit me out, 

Return to the Vomitorium. 

 

I grow tired of always chasing sunbeams, 

They escape between your fingers. 

 

I need to stop playing with twenty-five sent words. 

 

Why do I keep feeding this festering weakness; 

It pushes me like a beggar 

Empty bowl in my hands; 

Forever reaching out 

With no one reaching back. 

 

If I could pluck you from my mind, 

Dump you in the fire, 

Let you meet the hard smack of the hammer, 

Mold your shape into what I need 

Not what you want. 

 

I look everywhere for a third way, 

Where I won’t need to cut the futures throat 

With the bones of the past. 

 

Walking the path in reverse 

Won’t lead you out, 

Moving forward wont lead you out, 

Sitting still won’t lead you out. 

 

Might as well spend another day trying to outrun my shadow. 

 

Do I turn your stomach the same way I turn my own? 

 

At some point this slow procession must come to an end. 

Seasons come and seasons go 

But when the day ends 

Were you the leaf, or 

Were you the wind.