Seeing You

The tase of acid at the back of the throat, 

was I just cheap heavy labor my only use to spend the day lifting the things you couldn’t; 

I wanted to be so much more. 

I saw the used dixie cup stack atop its carboard mantel frozen to the carpet beneath; 

all the signs of someone carrying a boulder beneath within their breast. 

Do you go and go without stop because when the wheels slow down the darkness catches up? 

I hoped that when you looked into my eyes you could see what I saw in yours; 

that deep desire wrapped in infinite possibilities 

was it the screen after the credits have rolled empty and waiting for the next movie to start, 

maybe something I can’t even fathom. 

I wanted to trade new beginnings, 

to crush the boulders in you, 

to spend my days chasing tomorrow in your eyes. 

I hate feeling stupid, 

wrong straight to the core; 

learning once again 

I know nothing. 

Feelings don’t die easily, 

even the unwanted hang on for dear life. 

It doesn’t matter what I say if you don’t have ears to hear. 

I’m sorry for your past scars that work to keep us so far from each other. 

So much time spent drowning beneath the ice you begin to think everyone is on the other side and looking back and don’t recognize when someone drowning next to you. 

I see you.