ROPE

 Given enough time and rope, 

we all fashion our own nooses. 

The truth cannot hide forever; 

it too, 

in the end, 

always gives up its fruit. 

Have you blocked me yet, 

silenced the voice, 

cut it off at the root? 

Perhaps tomorrow… 

It didn’t matter; 

if I left it or if I retrieved it. 

I think you were already on your way out. 

Why am I locked in this perpetual goodby with everyone I meet? 

I wish you would stay. 

I don’t want to see you go… 

It’s just the present side effect of always saying the wrong thing at just the right time.

You seem so similar to myself, 

but I got lost in my head on my way to your front door. 

Now it’s locked, and I can’t find my way in.

Do you walk my tomb 

like a sentry waiting to see what crawls into the light? 

Nothing good lives in the depths of self-loathing. 

Deeds, not words; 

words quickly turn to ash with the turning of the day. 

It’s in the actions that we take that illuminate the true nature. 

The only one who could help me died. 

I’m only left with these dark eyes 

that wait for the bite in every kiss 

the knife in the back with each hug. 

I wasn’t trying to steal away your time; 

it was just nice talking to someone again. 

Words with meat on the bone, 

not the idle banter that so many pass as conversation. 

That is what my soul craves. 

Seeing You

The tase of acid at the back of the throat, 

was I just cheap heavy labor my only use to spend the day lifting the things you couldn’t; 

I wanted to be so much more. 

I saw the used dixie cup stack atop its carboard mantel frozen to the carpet beneath; 

all the signs of someone carrying a boulder beneath within their breast. 

Do you go and go without stop because when the wheels slow down the darkness catches up? 

I hoped that when you looked into my eyes you could see what I saw in yours; 

that deep desire wrapped in infinite possibilities 

was it the screen after the credits have rolled empty and waiting for the next movie to start, 

maybe something I can’t even fathom. 

I wanted to trade new beginnings, 

to crush the boulders in you, 

to spend my days chasing tomorrow in your eyes. 

I hate feeling stupid, 

wrong straight to the core; 

learning once again 

I know nothing. 

Feelings don’t die easily, 

even the unwanted hang on for dear life. 

It doesn’t matter what I say if you don’t have ears to hear. 

I’m sorry for your past scars that work to keep us so far from each other. 

So much time spent drowning beneath the ice you begin to think everyone is on the other side and looking back and don’t recognize when someone drowning next to you. 

I see you.