Pieces

I never live up to expectations,

the truth is always harsher than the fiction.

What I want to say ends up hanging in the back of my head

stalling all the other words as they seek an exit.

 

I wish I could tell what people want of me.

I am always lacking as I grasp for words that aren’t there

with each step taking me in the wrong direction.

 

What small piece illudes me,

what can’t I see what everyone around me seems to see so clearly.

 

Shouldn’t I be cheering for myself when friends and family cheer for me,

I don’t want a single use,

disposable,

let’s see what comes.

 

I reject that,

I only search for a corner stone

no ordinary rock can fill its void.

 

Shouldn’t I be content with what I’ve had,

it was a larger portion than most,

but I only want more.

 

I’ve been left craving

it’s the same craving I had before I ever sat down

just stronger this time around.

 

Before it was the undiscovered country

now it has become the lost land

Its left me famished for its lush fruit once more.

 

What makes you the villain,

is knowing your crocked hand can’t direct you toward your goal;

so instead of seeking voyage on another vessel

you force the helm and crack the wheel.

 

I fed off you like the undead,

used your kindness like a bridge

just to throw my garbage at your feet

once crossed

I burnt them down

leaving you on the other side.

 

Only the fool believes there is an end to this steady stream,

the valve only opens one way,

let the torrent continue,

take it all inside,

use the broken pieces to build a new puzzle,

learn to sew a new tapestry,

take the time to teach yourself

that you become what you destroy;

the mirror can’t reflect the past,

each day you are trapped with yourself,

pantomiming the actions of yesterday

again and again

waiting for the new result.

 

I would rather place the blade in your hand

turn my back to you

then wait to feel its bite,

its quicker that way;

whatever doesn’t kill you

can only make you stronger.

 

I have no fear of my weakness;

I dump it here in this pit

To take away its strength over me,

the words beat out like the dust on an old dirty blanket

it covers the room in its thick fog

choking those who chose to linger.