Seppuku

It takes small bites, 

Only nibbling at the edges, 

The beginnings don’t change. 

They suck the blood of the past 

To create a dream 

That was never meant to become,

 Churning out another half-baked idea

 That no one wanted 

And was never asked for. 

Falling sand, 

Passing through my fingers, 

With each grasp I hold less and less 

Until you disappear from me completely. 

I wanted you to stay 

Once the mask began to slip away 

You did as well; 

Were you only seeking the illusion 

That reflection of my former self. 

Am I just the dog 

Once again returning to its vomit, 

The broken clock 

Who is only right twice a day. 

Succumb again to the nothing 

It tugs once more 

To pull my insides out 

I’ll adorn them again, 

For no one to see but myself. 

Let the vapid smile and the biting scowl 

Keep them at bay; 

The stupid and the busy 

Only see what they are already looking for. 

Always ready to fall for the next story fitting their internal narrative, 

Eyes closed and oblivious to what they surround themselves with. 

I watch as others 

As they move like serpents through life 

Never hindered or deterred, 

Never a snag to catch them or hold their forward progress back. 

When I move I roll like a bolder 

Down life’s hill crushing or maiming 

Anyone unlucky enough to have come near.